On December 8, 2008, I found a lump in my breast. I’ve often wondered what goes through someone’s mind in such a situation. My reaction was interesting. First, “Where did this come from?” “It’s huge!” “Why didn’t I notice this before?” Second, “This can’t be good!” “ I need to have this checked out right away.”
I told my husband when he woke up that morning about what I’d found. He was decidedly worried and suggested I call the doctor immediately. I think he knew, as well as I, that this was probably cancer.
This was not a good time to be sick! Not before Christmas. But cancer doesn’t wait for holidays. It doesn’t care if you are a Relief Society President with a Christmas Dinner and program the next evening. You just deal with it. My dear friend, Gail (she’s an RN) was in the kitchen at church helping with the dinner when I told her about the lump and asked what she thought. Her words, “call your doctor right away. I’ll call you every day until you do.” I assured her that I would.
I saw the doctor the following day. Things moved very quickly then. A mammogram, sonogram and biopsy confirmed our suspicions of cancer. I was referred to Roswell Breast Cancer and surgery was scheduled for a double mastectomy. I think I was in shock.
I’m so thankful for priesthood blessings. I wanted to be calm and positive and the blessing helped me beyond words. I knew I would get through this. It didn’t mean that it would be easy though. I would lose my breasts, my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. I’d deal with chemo and neulasta shots, infection, isolation and everything else that comes with being a cancer patient.
Through it all, I have had wonderful doctors and staff. Incredible friends and family. Relief Society sisters who cared and prayed, called, wrote, cleaned my house and delivered gifts. They were my Angels! Sister Terry Smith delivered a beautiful basket made by the Relief Society. It really touched my heart. It was so wonderful to see Terry with a big smile on her face and the basket in tow. We had a great visit.
My big concern was losing my hair. Funny what you worry about, huh? My sweet, wonderful friend, Fran-e Campbell told me that she would come and shave my head when the hair started coming out in handfuls. That day came too soon and then the hair was gone. She turned to me, handed me the clippers and said, “Now you shave my head.” What a sweet sacrifice. I shaved her head and then we looked into the mirror together. I will always be grateful to her for doing such a selfless act. It made facing my reflection so much easier. Thanks Fran-e.
It is said that adversity will make you stronger and teach you things if you let it. I have learned a lot about love, compassion and serving others. We all need one another so much. Especially when we face adversity. The love that we share with each other can really make a difference. It gives us hope. The Breast Cancer Society has a saying, “Hope wins the race.” It’s true. It means everything.
I have had people I don’t even know pray for me. I’ve had prayer shawls made for me. Sisters have put my name in Temples around the country. My sister was attending a Bar Mitzvah and the rabbi prayed for me. I have had words of encouragement from friends and family that swell my soul with joy. Yes! You can experience joy, even in adversity. And it is glorious.
My best friend and comfort has been my dear husband, John, who takes such good care of me. He never complained about all the extra work he took on while I was sick. Always encouraging and making me laugh. Telling me I’m beautiful without my hair. He shaved his head too. Now we are a matched set but I already knew that.
Being with others as they struggled with chemo was humbling. So many were so much worse off than I and yet so often their concern was how I was doing. I saw so much faith and courage. I thought a lot about the Savior and how he really knows each of us. He knows our suffering because he felt it too when he atoned for us. The realization of that fact gives us strength to deal with whatever comes because he really does understand. I can testify that when we love and serve one another, our Heavenly Father and the Savior smile and the heavens sing.
Thanks to all who have loved me through this journey. I love you too.
Sister Rhandy Ling, A survivor, Jamestown Ward
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